On the Cheap – Triad

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On the Cheap is Squinshee’s regular gander at inexpensive or free games.

Triad (Mac, PC)
Creators: Anna Anthropy, Leon Arnott
Price: Free

My friends have a term for the obtuse or lousy jokes I tell. They’re called “Calvin jokes.” I’ve nicknamed my reefer-toking chaps “Weedonites,” for their interest in all things Joss Whedon. It loses all contextual significance from the get go since they don’t actually care that much about Mr. Avenger. When arranging luggage in car trunks or groceries in the fridge I spout out, “It’s like real life Tetris!” Ha?

That lame quip also encapsulates Triad’s post-coital conceit – position a trio of very close friends on a bed that suits their unconscious tossing and turning. You’d imagine a night of threesome action, sexual politics withstanding, would be a more complicated endeavor. However, “Rolling Robin,” never grew out of her baby carriage, so she’ll tumble off the bed if someone isn’t nearby to block her. “Swaying Suzy” is a total hog since she gyrates her curled legs like a metronome. And “Jousting James,” while motionless, juts his knee out (I’m not the only one!), but I take it that his shape was designed to look like a male you-know-what. A penis.

The gang reminisces over coffee and pancakes after each attempt, determined to discover the ultimate setup. When you do, Triad ends with a punch line that earns slightly more laughs than something I might muster.

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