On the Cheap – Drop A Beat, Guiseppe!


On the Cheap is Squinshee’s regular gander at inexpensive or free games.

Drop A Beat, Guiseppe! (Browser)
Developer: Major Bueno
Price: Free

Drop A Beat, Guiseppe! is blunt: it prefaces with “you are the worst piano player,” and “people are throwing trash at you.” Recklessly clicking any keys on the left or right side of your keyboard glides the tripedal instrument with the friction of a skating rink. Melody is of no concern when it’s raining puffer fish and tomatoes. Guide the overcast musician underneath those prickly and goopy obscenities and sling them back with a flick of the piano’s lid. It’s a silly game of hot potato as you volley the same litter back and forth for extra points. When hit with enough stray trash, Guiseppe’s piano breaks, leaving a sulking musician alone with his mangled Steinway and tarnished career.

How did Guiseppe score a gig in a majestic theatre for a crowd of privy show-goers in the first place? Maybe his dapper style –– from his bow tie to barrister wig –– is a con for the ages. Maybe he’s suffering from stage fright. His fate is equally open-ended as you’re allowed to barrage into the audience and break out of the tumultuous cacophonic prison. The goofy endings and crazed keystrokes of Drop A Beat, Guiseppe! pull you back for subsequent performances. I’ll be blunt though: this is the worst piano game out there.

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