On the Cheap – Crazy Bill


On the Cheap is Squinshee’s regular gander at inexpensive or free games.

Crazy Bill (iOS)
Developer: Ivanovich Games
Price: Free

I can’t say that I have fantasized about spurting shotgun-like blasts from a pistol into an undead Steve Jobs. However, Crazy Bill has a vendetta for well-known people or characters, and views murdering them as a reward. “It’s okay, they’re zombies!” the game seems to suggest as you eviscerate a defenseless Spock or Charlie Chaplan.

There’s plenty of non-descript zombies too, as players scale an endlessly towering hotel in need of repair. You’ll blast these ghouls without thought as you grab interchangeable munitions and gobble up donuts that grant invulnerability. Each floor lasts mere seconds and has its own cluster of dangers like oozing pipes, rotting floors, twirling fans (and zombies, duh!). What would you expect of an inn managed by the brainless?


Crazy Bill falls under the category of games that relinquishes control of movement, so you have to calculate when to jump over obstacles or you’ll lose health. There might be instances where a thrown cleaver from an undead butcher and a knot of spiked beams from above forge unavoidable scenarios that end most climbs. An upgrade system capstones this rickety filth, ensuring high scores are equivalent to time played.

I did squeeze pleasure from the game when I pretended I was Charlie Meadows rampaging my way through Hotel Earle to find Barton Fink. Without a reason for offing historical figures and beloved characters, Crazy Bill’s premise leaves you feeling ickier than a zombified E.T..

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